The Proposal

I just learned 10 seconds ago that today is National Proposal Day.  The only one of these types of days I have celebrated before is National Nacho Day and it was glorious, so why not celebrate today with the story of how Joey and I came to be engaged.

When you’re with someone for as long as Joey and I have been together, you have (or if you haven’t, you should be having) several conversations about the future and what both of you want.  We both wanted to marry each other but understood that we would be paying for a vast majority of everything ourselves, meaning that a wedding would have to wait.  A lot of people would ask us when we were going to get married and what we were waiting for.  I didn’t really think it was anyone’s business but people just looove to be busy bodies.  Though we have been together for so many years people should really take into consideration that we started dating in high school.  There is no way I would have been ready to get married when I was 21.  At the time I thought I was good to go but I am so thankful that we waited until now.  I just don’t understand the rush?  There’s no reason for it.  I’d rather learn about living with someone, weather all kinds of hardships and understand what marriage is going to be like before signing up for life.

Because of the nature of our relationship, an engagement was not going to be a surprise.  I found a ring online years ago that spoke to me.  We went to a jeweler in 2012 and tried it on and I was really disappointed when the band didn’t look right on my hand.  It was way too delicate and you couldn’t even tell there were diamonds on the sides because they were so tiny.  I didn’t hear anything more about it for another year.

In May 2013 we went to the Virgin Islands for our 11 year anniversary.  I felt pretty confident that Joey was going to propose on our anniversary, but throughout the entire trip he acted completely normal, so I started to think that maybe I was mistaken.

The day before our anniversary, we visited Coral World in St. Thomas, where we got to go into a pool with 200lb rescued sea turtles (Joey’s favorite animal), pet them and learned all about their stories. 

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After that we went to the seriously beautiful Coki beach next door and snorkeled for a few hours.  It was a really fun day.

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We ended the night with a late dinner at Old Stone Farmhouse, which is exactly what it sounds like, on top of a mountain.  The restaurant has no doors so once in a while you get a nice breeze from outside.  (http://oldstonefarmhouse.com/)  It’s a fancy restaurant where you can go in the kitchen and see the chef preparing food.  In the kitchen the walls are filled with couples’ names. 

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We took a couple of photos inside, and then the waiter asked if we wanted to take any photos in their courtyard.  I was like “no that’s okay,” but Joey said “Yeah let’s take some more pictures!”  I was thinking to myself, why does he care about pictures in the courtyard?  The waiter took one photo, then Joey said “the next one better be a good one” and got down on one knee and proposed. 

I was seriously shocked.  I had not been bracing myself for a proposal the day before our anniversary!  No matter how long you have been dating and whether or not you are expecting it, you cannot prepare yourself for a marriage proposal.  It is a very overwhelming feeling.

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Joey had the ring custom made to be exactly how I wanted it. I couldn’t stop staring at it for the next two days.

Calling/texting everyone from the islands proved to be really exhausting!  I suggest getting everyone together and announcing it rather than go through every person you want to tell individually.

I wonder if people thought we were never going to get married at all.  I sometimes considered the option because I love my life the way it is, but I know that if we decided to stay together without ever getting married that something would be missing.

So that’s our perfect proposal story, and that’s as sappy as I’m ever going to get.

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Finding a Wedding Officiant

It’s been a long, weird road, but we finally have our officiant booked.

The search began about 6 months ago.  I was feeling overwhelmed with planning and assigned Joey the task of finding a wedding officiant.  Our only requirements were that they perform a non-religious ceremony and that we could write our own vows.  For us, our wedding will be a celebration of our relationship and a commitment to the future with each other.  I thought I had given Joey the easiest task available.

He contacted Denise at Perfect Day Celebrations.  He asked her to email us specific information.  She only sent us some information he had asked for and not all.  We agreed that when people don’t follow simple instructions that it could be a bad sign.  We decided to contact someone else.  For reasons unknown it took Joey a couple of months to find another officiant.  He set up a meeting with Eileen from Down the Aisle Ceremonies.  She sent us a form to fill out about each other to bring to our meeting.  The day before we met, she emailed him to confirm that we were still meeting.  It annoyed me that she lived in Milford and would not meet us halfway.  We live in Livonia, and with the bad weather, it took us about 45 minutes to get to Milford.  We arrived early and waited in the parking lot of her husband’s dental practice.  We waited about 15 minutes past our appointment time before we left.  No call, no show, never to be heard from again.

I was eager to get this task over with but the holidays were quickly approaching, so we decided to wait until after New Year’s to meet with another person.  In January we met with a guy who was just way too big of a weirdo for my taste.  I’m weird and I like weird but this was just over the top.  He felt the need to tell us about his kidney stones for about 20 minutes, and when I tried to change the subject to wedding talk, he interrupted me and said “hiiiiiiiii.” ??? I swear this shit only happens to us.  After the second time he said “hiiiiii” I was pretty sure this guy was going to kill me later.  We were running out of time for this particular task and I was so worn out by the process of finding someone that I still thought about hiring him.  I told Joey that I would sleep on it and when I woke up the answer was a very firm “No.”

I found a group in West Bloomfield who will perform the ceremony for the low, low price of $800.  HAHAHAHAHAHA bye.

Exasperated, I weighed my options.  I know two people (plus Joey) who are ordained and could technically perform the ceremony.  Could I trust them to run a dress rehearsal and get our marriage license mailed?  No.  I considered asking our best man’s mom to become ordained and perform the ceremony because she means a lot to us, she is responsible, and she works at a church so she would probably be familiar with the order of the processional.  As I was researching how we could get her ordained if we asked her, I came across information that stated that a person who is Catholic may not become ordained by a non-Catholic church and may not perform a ceremony for non-Catholic people.  Do you notice how much work I have been doing on a task that I gave to Joey?

We contacted the original person, Denise, to see if she was still available on our wedding date.  She asked for the time of our ceremony because she had a wedding scheduled for earlier in the day already.  “I will get right back to you.”  Never heard from her again.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE??????????????  These people are not to be left to their own devices!  Running an efficient business isn’t for everyone, clearly.

Finally, before I committed an act of violence on someone, we were able to meet with Danealle from Ceremonies of Love.  She was nice and she likes to write so we booked her right away.  The process has been a complete nightmare and I am so thankful it is over.